It's Been Awhile

Lately I have not been posting on here as I should be. Life has been so hard these past 6 months. I wonder constantly if I am doing things right, am I doing enough, and am I loving my family enough. I can answer the questions like this: I may not do things right, but I do them as to what's best for my family and myself in the moment. Life has a way of throwing curve balls, bowling balls, bricks, etc. Agree much? I do. I can honestly say that as I have matured in my body and life, I have learned what life is about and surrounded myself with those friends and family that mean the most to me. Granted, there are some family members I wish would be around me more, but I have done all I can, the rest is up to God. Yes, this sounds like another ranting blog, but that's the title of this blog so freakin get over it!!!!

Yesterday, I went to the funeral of a very dear family member. This person was not my blood, but he was family to me. He was my son's step grandfather. We called him PopPop. He was such a dear man, who always had a smile on his face, a Coors Light in his hand, and a place in his heart for everyone, even a stranger. He made me feel loved, special, and treasured just being around him. His wife is really missing him now. I feel for her so much and wish there was more I could do for her. She rose above a very difficult situation and became a part of my life, and the lives of all my children (not just the life of her grandson). PopPop did the same. This whole experience has shown me how short life can be taken from you and how important it is to always tell your family and friends how much you love them all the time. I'm sure PopPop didn't think that he would die from a massive heart attack while sitting at his bar, drinking a Coor's Light. I never would have thought it either. I love you David, and your smile could light up the room. You are missed. And through your death, this has shown me that I may not always do things right, but I will do them with a smile and for my family.